Why Feeling Like A Failure Is Something You Need To Unlearn

Your life‘s not a one-size-fits-all checklist that needs to be ticked off.

Michele Lian
3 min readOct 6, 2021


I’m tired.

Tired of how freaking hard we all are on our already worn-out, beaten-down selves.

How we’re not perfect enough.

Not good-looking enough.

Not young enough.

Not old enough.

Not smart enough.

Not talented enough.

Not skinny enough.

Not rich enough.

Not pleasant enough.

Not cool enough.

It’s as if we’re all walking around with our heads hanging in collective shame because we’re ‘not enough’ in one way or another in comparison to a set of arbitrary boxes that our neighbors, corporations and outdated systems have put in place for everyone to fit neatly and nicely into….or else.

Or else we risk being judged, punished or bullied because we just don’t measure up.

And so we go about our jobs, friendships, romantic relationships and lives feeling less than good enough.


Like we’re constantly failing ourselves and others.

What a load of BS that we’ve all been carrying around on our shoulders.

Boudewijn Huysmans / Unsplash

How about…

…we ‘unlearn’ looking, acting and talking a certain way just to be accepted, and learn how to be as authentic to ourselves and others as we possibly can?

…we ‘unlearn’ the unrealistic (read: ridiculous) standards of beauty so we can embrace how we really want to look, feel and show up in the world?

…we ‘unlearn’ that success is all about hustle culture, climbing corporate ladders and flashy living so we can contribute to the world on our own terms and at our own pace?

…we ‘unlearn’ what the perfect life looks like (according to everyone else) and start learning how…



Michele Lian