Have you ever felt the overwhelming urge to smile, go with the flow and just say “yeah, sure” just to keep someone (or everyone) else happy?
I have, and I did…for a long time, until I realised that it was a habit that rarely served me well.
I was a chronic people pleaser.
And as a former people-pleaser who’s still in recovery, I say this with so much love: Just stop it.
It’ll create toxic situations and unhealthy relationships.
Saying “yes” to everything for no other reason than wanting to be liked makes you an enabler to not just good behaviour, but bad ones as well.
It means telling someone who’s potentially irresponsible, inconsiderate or just plain selfish: “Hey, it’s OK. Go ahead and do what you want to do because no matter what you do, I’ll take it and be OK with it. Let me be your punching bag. In fact, let me help you do it.”
No, it’s not OK — not for you, not for the other person and most certainly not for anyone else.
And once you start doing it, your unconditional ‘approval’ sets a precedent, making it harder to say “no” further down the road.
Despite my good intentions, this is a lesson I learned the hard way.
It’ll make you feel bitter and resentful.
Constantly saying “yes” to things you don’t want to do or don’t feel good about creates tiny resentment-filled scars in your psyche.
Keep doing it and these scars will build up into a massive, bleeding wound that feels overwhelmingly and unbearably painful.
It’ll eat away at you until one day, you’ll snap.
I know I did.
It’ll hold you back from living your life.
Spending your limited time, energy and money doing what everyone else wants leaves less of all three for you to do what you want, on your own terms.